Since we last left our heroine, she/me/I’ve written several new Actual Songs. The refining was a bit of a slog, maybe there is still editing to be done, but, you know: they exist.
I’ve been doing this a while, and still, every time a song makes it out complete and perform-able, it feels like a minor miracle. I get a physical thrill, and a sense of accomplishment.
I ROCK! I am the BOMB! I am totally amazing.
And then, almost immediately:
Huh. Maybe… huh. What if that song actually sucks?
Does it fit with my other stuff? Maybe it’s too… you know what I mean. Too… something.
I better write another one.
Nothing’s coming to me. Nothing. Muse! Come back!
What if that was the last one ever?
And then it’s like:
I wonder: am the only completely insane songwriter out there? Surely there are at least two of us.